Introspection: How our changing affects everything

I have taken note over the past few months, let us say 3 because that is how many it has been, how things change because we change as people. Nothing in particular has to happen. No outside force has to work. There often is no visible way or means for anyone to know anything is different. Yet one day you realize that it is. That thing that you took for granted changed at some point along the way. And you go in search for what happened, for that thing that upset the status quo, only to realize that it is you. It is you yourself that is different. That somewhere along the way you changed, your outlook changed, your feelings changed, you no longer react the way you did, you no longer think the way you used to.

I have spent the last three months pushing to understand that change. I can now walk you through the events of the past two years that have led me to be the man I am today. In one highly specific instance, I can walk you through the events of the past 11 years that have gradually changed me in ways that I do not believe people I know understand.

And that seems to be the trouble with it all. At the end of the process, and by ‘end’ I mean ‘today’ since it is ever ongoing, it is the people who have known you the longest who may perhaps be the most in the dark. They have their perception of you. You are who they met all those years ago. If you had a sudden shift, they would notice it, but a gradual one? They typed you then and you will be typed until they have reason to examine you again. But aren’t we comfortable with our friends? Don’t we assume that we know them? We know how they will act, and what they will say, and how they will feel. How often do we examine the subtle differences in our own mindsets, much less our friends’?

I’m not going anywhere particular with this today. Just noting how the things that change in us change every part of our lives, even those we had long since set a certain way.